in my daughters eyes

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
she was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and theworld is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her handaround my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearerI realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be thereIn my daughter's eyes



this song makes me cry happy tears, sad tears and real tears,
i am exactly all i am for my girls,
i am holding on and no more and not giving into the urgies for my girls
to protect them, to watch them grow, to love them daily, to cuddle them, discipline them, educate them and be the best i can, yet never as much as they deserve
or i was to now
but now i think they would get on so much better without me holding them back
they have a fantastic dad who would do anything for them,
he struggles with the tears and tantrums, who wouldnt but he would take them to nursery in hail, rain or even thunder,
he would give them the secure love that i so struggle with
he would be so much better on his own than with me pulling him down,
pulling them all down, maybe if i loved them as much as i thnk i do, id do it for them
im nothing without my girls but they would be everything without me

i just want to scream help me just now
and say all the things i couldnt say, im sad for wot i lost, wot was taken
i got so used this abuse it kinda feels like home_PINK)
im sad for how i feel, im sad for feeling a failure,
im angry for letting it go for so long,
im angry for feeling so sad, im angry for being so gulible
im sad for feeling so alone, i want someone to make it all just disapear,
i want someone to cuddle me protect me and let me be sad,
thats probably wot i would say, help me feel better ,help me cry and let me know its ok to cry

god i really need to sort out wtf im doing once and forall and just get it over and done with
i love my husband and girls so much it hurts, im nothing without them yet they will be everything without me

i need to remember to breath even for the next 12hours, then the next and just keep going
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i wish i could scream