help me lord oh please help me

i shouldnt be feeling this way
i shouldnt be feeling the way i am
i want to run away
i want to get away from him
i cant help feeling so shit,
i cant help feeling so crap
i just want someone to help me
to run and run and run
i really cant do this anymore
im just glad i fight these feelings
im glad im no longer his little whore

please just let me run away from this
please hold me and let me cry
please tell me i dont need to die
please help me scream so loud
that im hurt, im hurting, im not proud
he has killed all i am, all i have and all ill ever be
i just want someone to love me for me

im sick and tired of always being sick and tired

Im so so tired and yet im not getting a good sleep,
im waking, dreaming and screaming
i hate it,
i hate it, i hate it so so much,

Im ready to finish the telling now, im ready to speak the words
all the words, make sure they are all vocalised then i need to try and move on
i need to try and understand,
i feel so dirty just now, its been so long since i felt this bad,
im sure i just feel exposed or something

i want to cry but i cant cry alone,
i want to talk but i dont want to annoy people
i want to run away but you cant always get what you want,
Im sad and scared of what he done,

Im forgetting everything i say and do,
i forget everything and that scares me too,
I want to go out alone, even just a walk,
and im scared to do that too
i shouldnt feel scared anymore but i do
i feel sick to the stomach when i see what we done,
when i dream, when i get flashbacks, memories, smells, tastes, touch
it all repulses me so much,
i dont know anymore what im meant to do
i am trying so so hard, i really am trying,

im just so sick and tired of it all,
i just want to cry and be cuddled and know it just so so one hundred percent was not my fault,
i dont think im evil or bAD
the thought of that makes me pretty sad,
but i must be, i must be or why why why?????????????????????????