this shouldnt be this way

things shouldnt still feel this bad,
they shouldnt be as bad as this,
this is horriffic,
i feel sick
i want to die, but i want to live
i just want to live and be alive,
i have the greatest gift from god in my children
people think im selfish,
im not selfish
i dont want to leave them, i just dont want to be with them like this
i want to cry, but i cant do that,

things are getting darker and harder, WHY IS THIS
i want to be happy, i dont wake in the morning and say, lets feel shit again,
think people need toget that thought through there head
i dont WANT NOR TRY to feel like this,

my kids are walking on egg shells, my husband just looks at me now like he has had enough
how the fuck do they all think i feel,
i dont want to want to die
i dont want all these people in and out our life


i wish i had a wand, i cant trust anyone anymore,
think people have had enough of me,
i just want to feel better, i just want to becuddled to sleep,
and to sleep for a day, i want to cry, i want to die,
but i need to live,