scared

this is the worst feeling ever
i have that rollercoaster in my belly
i feel like its been forever
and my legs now feel like jelly
i want this all to end now
i cant stand people thinking in a cow
i hate that i feel like i want to die
i hate that in fighting with my head
i hate that i want to.run goodbye
i pray to god to let me just go to bed
i feel like i want to punch and kick
shout and scream
but what's the point, i need to watch how in seen
i want to phone the psychs and plead them to help
as the fear i have of killing myself is killing me keeping it to my self
in fighting it, trying to stop it and not giving in
but it still wont leave me to sleep
i feel itchy, agitated, fidgety, scared, stomache like a rollercoaster head like a round about and i just want my bed
but at the same time i want to be dead,
someone please help me live
i have so much i want to give
i don't want this feeling i don't want to die
i want to live and i want to try but the urge is so strong in scared ill die, xxx help.x

a mess

i want to die
i want to cry
i want you to.help me
i don't know why
i can not cope
i can not see
but i know what they bastards have done to me
i know i am dirty, skanky, tarred wee cow
but please take me for now
i am 33 and feel six
i just want a hug and to stop feeling sick
i fear you think i am a total twat
in not in scared of all that
of life without flashbacks and being a whore
will have a point or no purpose no more
help me, see me as i really am
N not.the product of this sick fuckin man
cuddle me, protect me and give a damn
like no other has not even my man xxx
if i don't suceed and beat this beast
just do them proud and teach them well
make them appreciate north,south,west and east
how lucky they are even though im deacesed
love u girls your honery aunties will take care of you xxxxxxx